Not Lost, Just Wandering

Farewell...

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 20:14:00 +0000

This will be the end of my blogging here... If anyone wants to talk with me or hear what is going on, feel free to shoot me an email at:

jmontgomery@catt.com

July 14th...

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 15:46:00 +0000

Ok... so not the best title but the best I can com up with right now!! Life is still life... I'm just keeping on with school... counting down the classes.... then I have a break and some decisions to make. As much as I would like to move out of this area it makes most sense to stay here and do my master's degree here. There's two local colleges that have good programs. Work is still work. One of the best things about my job is discovering a wonderful friend... I never would have guessed when I first met her how much I would like her. It's really nice to have a close friend to hang out with.

Tonight, is Harry Potter night... I'm excited! I'm going with several people from work at midnight... It should be lots of fun!

I think life is okay right now... it's busy but it's really okay. Everything is starting to come together the way it needs too. I really can't ask for more right now.

J.

I should be sleeping...

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:34:00 +0000

It's a Friday afternoon and I really should be sleeping... I have to work tonight. There's so much on my mind lately... Work... school.... cars.... moving... and so much more. Work is work... it never really changes much... School is getting closer to being over with... five more classes after the two that I am taking. Cars... to buy a new one or try to repair my current one.. repairing is much less expensive and makes so much more sense. I'm content to do that right now. I really want to move out of this area. I am so tired of it. I'm thinking of Maine... I don't know a soul there. It sounds like an adventure. I need an adventure.

I feel like so much has changed for me in the past few months. I have been required to become more dependent upon myself and upon God. It hasn't been an easy thing but it's something that I can handle with the help of God. It's a good thing... not a bad thing.

Now... if I can figure out how to look for an engine for my car.... That should be interesting...

J.

Textbooks and such....

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 20:13:00 +0000

Things have been strange for me lately. I do not really know how to put it into words. Today, I spent about an hour trying to find used textbooks because new ones are just way too expensive. Then I did something completely uncharacteristic of myself. I looked at textbooks that were one edition old. I would have never done this before but I realized from looking at the Table of Contents that there was very little difference between one that is a couple years older and a brand new one. This led me to realize that I could purchase one that is one edition older for like $5.00 or a brand new one for $75.00. I decided to try this option. What is the worst thing that happens? I am out $5.00 and have to have the newer edition sent to me a few days into my class. Amazon has free two day shipping... so I can always go down this road later. I know... Strange thing to be excited about. I'm also trying to figure out somewhere affordable to go on vacation in October... hopefully a beach. I don't think we will be able to afford to go to Holden Beach... which makes me sad... but I think finding a rental there will not be as affordable as I need.

Something that really caught my attention a couple days ago... someone was telling me about how they had a family member that was a medical missionary in Ecuador... Something about that stirred something within me... I don't know how to explain it. Maybe it was that desire as a teenager to be a missionary.. maybe it's nothing... but it's something to ponder upon... Maybe it's time to start learning spanish...

Just some thoughts...

J.

It's June...

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 19:04:00 +0000

Well, It's June. I can honestly say the past few months have been a time of awakening for me. I think that my life really took a turn for a few years that was not what God wanted for me. I'm not sure how to put it into words. I took the control away from God and tried to do things on my own. I am finally now feeling like maybe I'm closer to being on the same page with God. It's not an easy road all the time. I've been thinking about relocating. I really am tired of this area and would love to be able to live somewhere else for a while. Maybe Maine?

J.

Another Tour

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Fri, 08 May 2009 04:25:00 +0000

It's hard to believe it's Tour time already... not being on the committee this year has not been any fun. I will be glad to go back on the committee next year. I needed this year to concentrate on school and getting through. The school year is almost halfway over which means I am that much closer to having my bachelor's degree in nursing. I know I can do this! There's nothing that can stop me. I'm going to get out on my bike tomorrow and try to readjust to my pedals... that should be humorous.

J.

The car that I think I might be buying soon...

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Tue, 05 May 2009 01:23:00 +0000

I can't believe it's May already. This year is flying and is almost half over. The good part about that for me is that when this year is over I will finally have a Bachelor's degree.. Then the big decision about what to get a master's degree in. I test drove a new car today. A brand new car. I really like it too. Now, I have to crunch the numbers and figure out if I can afford it or not. I have had my car for 12 years, it has served me well but I'm ready for something new!!

Work is going well... I have been being charge nurse some which has been an interesting experience to say the least. I was floated to another floor one night last weekend and went voluntarily another night so Juanita would not have to float. I think that I need a change though. I need to learn something new... I realized when I was on another floor that not everywhere is as crazy as where I'm at. I want to learn and grow and become a much better nurse.

The weather has been beautiful and I've been out riding my bike more. I enjoy that. I need to find something that I can be passionate about and maybe that is it. We will see.

J.

Updates

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 15:55:00 +0000

Yay for Mondays!

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 12:13:00 +0000

Most people see Monday as the day that they have to go back to work... Monday mornings are a whole different thing for me. Monday mornings are the morning that I say yay! It is now the weekend for me! Because on Monday morning my work week is over until Friday at 6:38PM!! I had an okay weekend at work. I was in charge last night which is great but it adds more responsibility to me that keeps me hopping. I ran into someone from my past that made me think about a few things. The boy was back this morning. Two weeks without him to draw my patient's labs in the morning made 4AM quite dull. The boy is quite fun and someone that I really like being friends with. Well.. It is off to bed with me. I have much to accomplish this afternoon.

J.

Saturday...

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 13:09:00 +0000

Last night was a rough night at work.. well... actually it started rough but improved greatly by morning. Frustration settled in for a while when I was unable to get my charting done but great coworkers make the night so much better. I really have great coworkers. I have school work to get done today but the first priority is some much needed sleep. I didn't sleep well yesterday and I'm hoping to make up for it today... then it's back to work again and hopefully things run a bit smoother tonight.

J.

Back to work..

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:43:00 +0000

The week seems to fly by. I leave work Monday and think that I now have four days to get things accomplished and before I know it... it is Friday again. I feel like I follow this cycle over and over again... At least I don't have to work a 5 day a week job and for that I am thankful. I am also thankful for my wonderful weekend coworkers because they are truly awesome and I look forward to working with them every week. I feel like we are truly a team and if something were to go wrong we would have each other to fall back on. Working weekends... It's a good thing.

J.

Thoughts...

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 22:39:00 +0000

Ok... so I've been really busy lately... really busy... between school and work I have very little free time. I enjoy the down time that I do have but I find more and more that I like being at home. I enjoy the peace and quiet and I like just being alone. Don't get me wrong... I enjoy those times where I get together with someone and just have fun but I'm more of a home body than I used to be. I have also been attempting to live my life in a way that is what God wants... There are people in my life that have a problem with this fact and sometimes it is very difficult to deal with this. I'm not sure really how to explain it but there are people that want me to be a certain kind of person and that isn't the person that I want to be or the person God wants me to be so I will have to deal with the opposition and hope for the best. It's not always easy to do the right thing...

J.

Quiet

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 04:27:00 +0000

All is quiet in the house now. Everyone has gone to sleep. I miss Sara right now and will be glad to see her in a little over 24 hours. Well more like 36 hours. I've really been struggling the last couple weeks. With my biological father just pulling the alimony out from under my mother it makes me feel things that I thought that I resolved a long time ago. Is it okay to never want to see the man again? Is it wrong to feel that way? I haven't seen him in like 13 years now. It was him that bailed. When he bailed he not only left my mother but he left me too. Sometimes that hurts really bad even now 13 years later. I have to remember the relief that I felt the day he left. My house finally became somewhere safe to me. Before that I didn't feel safe when he was there. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that your father abandoned you and even harder to then be able to relate to God as a father. I shiver when I hear the term father even now. I feel safe in my home now. It is not a place to be frightened. I hope that peace doesn't leave anytime soon because even now at 30 years old I need that feeling. I guess that is really all that I had to say this evening. I shall do what everyone else is doing and go to bed.

J.

Today...

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 01:04:00 +0000

As I sit here typing I look out into the darkness outside. I can see little white snowflakes falling. I love snow. I always find that these times away remind me of who I am and where I am heading. I forget in all the hustle and bustle who I am supposed to be letting guide my life and I take that control over. It's usually a disaster when I do. I have been better about that lately. I was sad a week ago when I realized I wouldn't be able to go to church for a while but there has to be some reason for it. This week has been a week of decisions. I did not feel peace about transferring to CCU right now. I am going to stay put on 400 South for now and rather than take on more classes at work I'm going to try and get involved more at church. I'm going to make a couple phone calls when I get home and hopefully that will plug me in more. I was reminded last week of our ragamuffin retreats. What good memories. I needed to be reminded of my ragamuffin self. I'm looking forward to seeing what is going to come next because right now I have no clue where I'm headed but that's okay.

J.

Sara and the "Herd" Part 3

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 21:10:00 +0000

Sara and the "Herd" Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 20:43:00 +0000

Sara and the "Herd"

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 20:09:00 +0000

Ten Honest Things... For Jodie

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 05:39:00 +0000

This isn't as easy as it seems that it should be.

1. I'm becoming more of a home body and I enjoy just hanging out with my mother and the two dogs. I used to want to go all the time but as I'm getting older I still like to go but I also like to just stay home in my PJ's.

2. I'm getting tired of being in school and right now it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

3. I really like most of my night shift coworkers and will miss them when I transfer to the CCU.

4. I struggle with going to church but I want that relationship with God. I like my current church but with them not having the 930 service I won't get to go anymore and that actually makes me sad. A good sign that maybe I'm coming around...

5. I appear to be very organized but in the long run if I didn't have a deadline I would never get things done. Right now I should be working on a school assignment.

6. There are things that I have determined in my life... things that I have convinced myself and other people of but some of them I just hide behind because I am afraid.

7. I really don't like it when people abuse alcohol and have no clue that they are really an alcoholic.

8. I am addicted to food and diet coke. I'm working on both of those points this year.

9. I am not making any new year's resolutions but I do have some things that I want to accomplish this coming year.

10. I have never fully recovered from being promised a new house last year but I will one day accomplish that goal all on my own.

Life as I Know It...

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 03:20:00 +0000

Life as I know it has changed drastically. For the longest time everything new awed me and I thought that I could ignore God and try all these new things and then just pick up wherever I left off. I'm not sure that makes sense. It does to me but it may not to my blogging people reading this. I realized about a year ago when I was at the beach in the peace and silence of that roof top porch at Holden Beach that God doesn't want to sit back and watch me live my life. At my house, you can see stars but you can't see the Milky Way, at Holden Beach you can see so many stars and the Milky Way. I felt God there and I hadn't felt that in a long time. I was on a path that didn't lead me toward God. I realize more now than I ever did that Jesus didn't get up on that cross so that I could do whatever I wanted and only include Him in my life when it is convenient. I need to commit to Him in everything that I do... that's easy to say but harder to do. I want to do that though. I will blog more later.

J.

God is Trustworthy??

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:49:00 +0000

I went to small group last evening... and our small group has been focusing on the sermon from that week. I missed church Sunday but I listened to it on the net... One of the benefits of an up and coming church... sermons on the internet. Anyway it was all about Mark 4:

35That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side."
36Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him.
37A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped.
38Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"
39He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
40He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"
41They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"

I thought a lot about this... Do I really trust God? I think for me it's one of those hard to explain things... When it comes down to it... I think I trust God in the big things but I'm not sure that I always trust Him in the little things. I tend to like that control over my life but in reality I don't think that control benefits me. I think that if I would place that trust in everything in His hands then everything would go smoother for me. Or maybe it wouldn't... but I think maybe I would doubt things less and maybe some other things would make more sense... I don't know... I'm still thinking on this pretty hard. I may post more later.

J.

Another Picture...

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 21:53:00 +0000

I'm obviously a picture freak. Give me a waterproof digital camera and it is obviously all over. I am one of those people that takes so many pictures that I tend to annoy people. I'm sitting in my chair. My big furry blonde dog, Sara is snoozing by the fireplace and of course Noah is in mother's lap. It is actually cool enough today to have to gas logs on and between the fire and the candles that mother has lit I could go back to sleep. Of course I did work last night so I'm tired anyway. I was able to get a name tag with "RN" on it today. That was so exciting to me. I have been waiting for that day for so long.

Today I thought of sea kayaks and bike rides. I thought about crab cake sandwiches and yellow fin tuna sandwiches. I thought about long walks on the beach and dangling my feet in the canal. I thought about the privacy that having an upstairs bedroom offered me that I don't typically get. The sound of the ocean and the breeze. I cant even verbalized what my time at Holden Beach has meant to me. I wonder what my dog would think about the ocean? I know she hates rain so she very likely wouldn't like the ocean.

Back to studying I go... I will try hard not to daydream about nice days at the ocean...

J,

One of the Most Beautiful Places

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:15:00 +0000

Of all the places I've been... This one is still burned in my memory... This one will stay with me. Last year for Memorial Day... My friend Patty was going to get her son Hayden from her parent's beach house.. I was invited to go along. I met two very nice and gracious hosts... George and Judy. I had an awesome time and they offered their rental house to my mother and I for next to nothing. Last year we were there the week before this week and we had such a wonderful time. The next week Judy found out she had a really rare form of cancer... there's very few cases of it in the world and from what I hear it usually kills you in less than a year. In August of this year we found out that the cancer is basically everywhere and thought that Judy didn't have long. She started an experimental type of chemo and she is currently feeling slightly better. She wants to live till Thanksgiving... we all hope she lives past Christmas... but with cancer who knows... IT sucks... They even sent me a present for graduation and becoming an RN... here she is sick with cancer... and she still manages to send me something so sweet.

So... Holden Beach will always have special meaning to me... and I will keep praying for Judy and remembering them every time I see pictures like this.

Jenn

Cakes, Cakes, Cakes!!

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 16:22:00 +0000

This has been such an exciting couple months for me. First, in June passing my clinical test. The test that scared me more than any other... then passing state boards in September... then graduating in September... then getting my Tennessee RN license in October! I've been waiting ever so impatiently! I thought all this was never going to happen... or more it felt like it was never going to happen. Now... I'm just in that period of relief. Today to make things even more fun Jamie, Patty and Hayden got me an awesome pumpkin candle and pumpkin room spray... and George and Judy sent me a gift card to Carabba's!!! I love Italian food!! What an awesome support system I truly have...

Jenn

Third Cake

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 13:00:00 +0000

Last night Mary and Suzy Ray brought this cake to me for getting my Tennessee license! Do I feel loved or what??

Second Cake

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 12:57:00 +0000

This is the second cake that I received for passing my state board exam! This one was from Rhonda and Erin.